5 min read
It’s Deeper Than Skin ®
It’s Deeper Than Skin ® is a compilation of interviews featuring diverse multicultural individuals each carrying unique aspirations and desires yet bound by a common passion to create a more joyful, diverse and inclusive space for us all. They inspire, empower and help transform the way we think and feel about beauty, culture, ancient traditions, diversity, mental health, societal standards and more. Through these multifaceted lenses, we learn to celebrate our uniqueness and are reminded once again that our beauty is deeper than skin.
This Pride Month, we sat down with V (@skincarecharmer) - a digital artist and content creator, whose vibrant work and voice online are matched only by his grounded, thoughtful take on queerness, mental health, and masculinity. With a name that literally means “vitality,” V invites us into his slower, softer world - where incense burns during skincare rituals, masculinity is reimagined, and self-love is radical. His story is a reminder that the most powerful thing you can be… is yourself.
Hi V, it’s lovely to chat with you! Tell us a little bit about yourself. (We’d love to know a bit about your background and what you love to do!)
For sure! Hi! My name’s Vitalijs, which actually means “vitality” in Latin - everyone just calls me V though! I’m a digital artist and content creator from LA! I was born in Eastern Europe and my family immigrated to the West when I was a teenager, so I’m kind of mixed in terms of my cultures? I’m based in London now!
Outside of the screen, what does a slow, self-care day look like for you? Any rituals you can’t live without?
OMG, this is the best question because I feel like I’m an actual pro at slow living! To me, being able to slow down is a luxury - it’s the ultimate form of self-care because, to me, time is the greatest luxury. I love cooking; I find it therapeutic, and it’s also a way for me to show love and respect for my body and mental health. I’m also big on taking time with my skincare. I light up an incense, enjoy its warm, spicy smell, and treat myself to a double cleanse and/or a good soothing sheet mask. The best, honestly! If you’re not combining aromatherapy with skincare, you’re seriously missing out!
You’ve been beautifully open about your sexuality and identity online. Has that openness shaped the way you move through beauty and through life?
Definitely. Coming from an Eastern European background, I was ashamed of my sexuality for the first two decades of my life. I came out to my dad when I was 20, and came out to my mom when I was 21. I’m fortunate enough to say it went great, which I know is often not the case for people coming from the same culture as me. Apart from my immediate family and friends, I never really cared for anyone else’s opinions or thoughts as far as my sexuality is concerned, you know?
After coming out, I made a conscious decision to live as openly myself as possible. It doesn’t even necessarily mean being “super gay” or anything - it just means being myself.
Being gay is a beautiful, natural part of who I am, but it’s just a fraction of what makes me me.
I think that’s why I get a lot of DMs from many closeted members of the LGBT community saying I’ve inspired them to come out or celebrate themselves a little more - because there’s really no right or wrong way to be gay, you know?
How has your identity shaped your sense of beauty, your view of the world, and how you care for yourself?
I guess the biggest thing for me is to see beauty in everything? We’re all so different, and this world is so unimaginably big. I just see myself as somebody who admires people for who they are. My sexuality also allows me to connect with people who share the same experiences as me, so I can “click” with them a little quicker too.
Mental health for men is still often framed through stigma, silence, or stoicism. What’s something that’s helped you feel more at ease in your own mind, not just your skin?
Oh man, how much time do you guys have? This is such an important - and unfortunately often overlooked - topic. I have depression, and I’ve got a lot of friends who are guys, and let me tell you, we’re in crisis mode 24/7. Because of the old-fashioned way we often raise boys, men grow up with a whole bouquet of insecurities and mental health concerns.
That’s also the reason why men are disproportionately affected by things like substance abuse, self-harm, and not seeking help.
I think gently redefining what masculinity represents is key here. I guess that’s what helped me feel better in my own mind! Rewiring my brain and massaging the idea of masculinity I grew up with - it’s almost like being set free after years of being shackled, in a way.
What did you believe masculinity had to be when you were younger, and how has that belief evolved?
Okay, so I feel like it’s important to acknowledge that different cultures are obviously going to have VERY different ideas of masculinity (again, take it from somebody who’s Eastern European). When I was younger, I associated masculinity with… suffering? With always having a righteous sense of bravado or maybe exaggerated sense of manhood? None of these things make any sense, right?
Don’t get me wrong, there’s some things in traditional masculinity I feel like make sense - like striving for success, being somebody your family can rely on. etc. It’s much more liberating to be able to embrace things that just make you happy though, I feel?
We all have feminine and masculine traits in all of us. Instead of fighting the urge to be exactly who you are, just embrace it and celebrate it.
Obviously anecdotal, but that’s what I did - and life has been so much more enjoyable ever since.
For someone who comes across your content - maybe someone still figuring their identity out - what do you hope they feel or take away from it?
Oh that’s easy - the feeling of safety and validity. Again, as long as I’m openly being myself and making that closed kid/person think and analyze their place in life in a positive way, that’s all that matters. Society teaches us that we need to “fit the mold” too often, and I’ll be honest guys - most of the time I’m not even “gay enough” for the gay community. So it’s really all about being happy with your sexuality on your own terms, ‘cause at the end of the day, that’s really the important part.
Are there any voices, artists, or public figures in the LBGTQIA+ community who’ve helped you feel more seen or understood along the way?
Probably not so much in the LGBTQ community, but a lot of people who support us! This is going to be so groundbreaking - but Lady Gaga! Her song “Hair” helped me not feel alone when I was coming to terms with my sexuality as a teenager. Jessie J’s “Who You Are” made me accept my sexuality - I even have a tattoo of a lyric from that song on my arm.
I’m also going to say The Weeknd and Lana! I love them both so much - probably my favorite artists actually. Not so much in terms of accepting my sexuality, but more like embracing other parts of my personality. Things that often intertwine with feeling alienated, like loneliness and not being fully understood. It’s nice to know that other people feel the same things you’re feeling.
If you could speak to your younger self, what would you tell them about pride, softness, and being loved as you are?
Give your parents a chance to love and accept you. That’s what I would say. I was scared to death - I’d cry in my room and pray to God at night to make me straight. I really didn’t want my mom and dad to “unlove” me, so I spent years of my life creating this pre-conceived idea that one day I’m going to lose them because of who I am. When in reality, their love for me was way stronger than the culturally inherited sense of homophobia. I love my mom and dad so much, and am so grateful for them.
And if you could speak to your future self - five or ten years from now - what would you want to say, or ask?
“Have you gotten any more tattoos?” No, I’m joking! I would probably ask my future self if… I’m happy? I don’t mean content or just “cool” with things, but really happy. Not-a-single-worry-on-the-horizon kind of happy. Yeah, that would definitely be the dream.
And some rapid fire questions:
What songs are currently on repeat in your playlist?
“Crush” by this London-based hip hop artist AJ Tracey! It was trending on IG for a few weeks this Spring! It’s just the most perfect summer-in-the-city song I swear - ahh!
What are you currently watching on Netflix?
Okay, so I know I’m super late to the party, but Ozark! I love shows like Queen of the South and Breaking Bad, so this crime drama’s right up my alley! So so good!
What’s one beauty or skincare product you can’t leave the house without?
Sunscreen - I carry like 3 when I’m out and about! Also lip balm! My lips need to be hydrated, always! I’ve been loving the one by Peach & Lily!
Finish the sentence: I feel beautiful when…
The filter’s on! I’m totally joking *laughs*. I feel beautiful when I look in the mirror and see somebody I’m proud of :) A little bit of clear brow gel doesn’t hurt either though *laughs*.
